is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
