I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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