I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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