We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I want a musical about memes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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