I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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