I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
