im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
