hotel room ftw
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
