he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The Olympian is in my bed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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