I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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