Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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