R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
