oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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