Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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