Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
