i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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