just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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