Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This house was built for laser tag.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What a dumb baby whore.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Randomize
