i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
