I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
