apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
