"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
