When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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