We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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