Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
