Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
