I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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