I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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