I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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