normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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