i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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