her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I want a musical about memes.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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