doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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