its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
