it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
