There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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