I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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