Just fell off a train. Bad.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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