Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
