Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
