Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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