all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
