I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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