You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
