You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
