"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
