My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
