Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
