I wish I only lived at night.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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