hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
