there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
