I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
